Save oneself
Save a failing relationship or solidify a prosperous relationship
Many think the way to save a failing relationship is to bring a child into the picture. People think having new life they created will bring them closer to their partner, make them happier, and renew their attraction, dedication, and love for each other. Ironically, even people in thriving long-term relationships can go through deeply nerve-wracking and life-shattering events that come about after having kids, leading to drastically reduced satisfaction with both the relationship and life—and sometimes leading to separation, divorce, and contempt for one another. There’s a belief that having children will lead to personal growth, maturity, and empathy for each other, but over and over again we see that after having children, men commonly focus on their own wants and needs while women are forced to carry more burdens, duties, and emotional abuse. While not all relationships go downhill once kids are added in the picture, having kids is clearly not a compassionate or proactive solution for a troubled relationship, nor does it guarantee a good relationship will remain that way. Creating a new life in the hopes it’ll fix or solidify a relationship is both unreasonable and cruel to the individual who will now have to deal with his or her parents immaturity and recklessness.
Be unconditionally loved
Some people want someone who will love them absolutely and unconditionally, and they think that a biological child will guarantee that. They assume that just because there is a familial connection, there must be mutual interest in being together, bonding, loving each other, and maintaining a long-term relationship. They fail to acknowledge that unconditional love is far from a guarantee—and that bonds, ongoing relationships, and love must be properly created, nurtured, and maintained. Conceiving a new life in pursuit of having someone love you forever is inconsiderate of the new person who didn’t sign up to live or love.
Continue one’s legacy, genetics, bloodline, and family name
These are some of the most commonly stated reasons humans use for procreating and telling others why they should also procreate. It’s simply not important and there’s no need for there to be a continuation of one’s genes, legacy, bloodline or family name. These aspects don’t matter because when you are dead, you are dead. This means that these traits about us are not as special or important as many of us imagine them to be. Why impose existence onto someone else in this world who didn’t ask to be here just so you can get the satisfaction of some quasi-continuation in some negligible degree?
Have someone who can care for them when they are older
There’s a common fear about getting older: not being able to be independent and care for oneself. Humans want to have children so that when their bodies give out, when their minds deteriorate, and when times get tough, they know their children will feel obligated to help them out. People who have kids for this reason assume that anyone they give birth to will want to drop their life and care for them in times of need. Contrary to wishful thinking, care and assistance from one’s children often doesn’t play out. Pushing the pressures, burdens, and stresses of existence onto a new life is already a lot, but expecting one’s children to automatically be one’s caretaker is even more taxing and not something that everyone will want to do, be capable of doing, or feel okay about doing. Forcing someone into the world for some sense of security that you’ll be cared at some point is both tremendously selfish and unfair to the person who never volunteered.
