How long has Stop Having Kids been around?

Stop Having Kids has been around since March 2021. The SHK concept came in 2020 and the idea was actualized in 2021.

Does Stop Having Kids hate kids?

No, this movement is not about hating on young humans, but rather looking out for them by preventing them from coming into existence in the first place and by inspiring individuals to consider helping kids who are already here. Sadly, a great deal of humans who hate other humans still have kids anyway (biologically or non-biologically). Kids who are alive deserve a safe and thriving world and to be free from all forms of abuse and discrimination; a world in which they can become the fullest potential of who they are. Therefore, we believe kids should not be needlessly brought into this increasingly unsafe, collapsing, and repressive world that’s eternally stained with a vast array of human rights abuses and injustices wherever humans exist. We don’t want kids to needlessly suffer and we don’t want new kids to add to the limitless harms that humans inflict onto others. Birthing a kid into existence is not an act of love in and of itself, but helping existing kids who are in need is indeed an act of love; that’s the message SHK wants everybody to understand.

Does Stop Having Kids hate parents?

No. SHK is not inherently against parents. The past is the past and we have no desire to shame humans who have had children or even who are having children in the modern day apocalypse. We seek to respectfully reach as many people as possible, especially those who have the privilege to make reproductive decisions to have kids or not to have kids. We hope for as many people as possible to make the responsible and compassionate decision to opt out of procreation. In a more ideal world we’d focus on putting resources that would have gone into supporting a new biological life into supporting any of the billions of existing lives who are in need, and whose lives have just as much worth and inherent value as anyone’s biological kin. Parents have sent donations, bought merch, and have joined our outreach events (since their current selves align with the message). Online and offline we will continue to be a trusted space for parents and grandparents to talk openly and honestly about their hardships, regrets, and thoughts about procreation.

Is Stop Having Kids trying to ban human procreation?

No, we will never try in any way to put a ban on human procreation. We want people to be able to come to their own conclusions and to abstain from procreation through their own will, not through the will of others.

Does Stop Having Kids support abortion?

Absolutely, 100% of the time if that’s what the pregnant person wants. SHK is pro-choice and believes we should honor every person’s right to choose (regardless of what outside pressure wants or expects) if they’d like to terminate forcing a life into existence. Anyone who desires to abort should have access to safe, legal, local, effective, and harassment-free abortions. Preventing abortions by preventing pregnancies is ideal, which is why we advocate for vasectomies and other tools for responsible sex.

Stop Having Kids isn’t going to stop everyone from having kids.

Just because we can't reach the apex of our ideal visions and goals doesn't mean we shouldn't still do what we feel and know in our hearts is right and impactful. We don't claim that we will end or stop anything. There are countless organizations that state their mission is to end something (e.g., human trafficking, nonhuman animal exploitation, child abuse, rape, etc.), but none of these organizations strive to be as realistic and honest as possible to their audience. For us, we value staying realistic and honest about the world and what we can actually accomplish. We know that humans as a whole will NEVER come close to not having kids no matter how much we try to reason, educate, and provide alternatives.

I have kids. Can I still be antinatalist?

Yes, anyone can become antinatalist at any point in their life, including after already having any amount of children. Antinatalism is a stance against human procreation, which humans can come to whether they have or haven’t brought humans into existence. When we have options, like when it comes to procreation, we can think about what is best for ourselves, others, and the Earth. Following this path oftentimes entails departing from how most of society thinks and behaves, including our past selves, but there’s nothing wrong with that. There are plenty of antinatalists who are parents.

If your mother never had you then you wouldn’t be here.

Not every mother births a human who is delighted that they were born. Just because we are here doesn’t necessarily imply that we are thrilled to have been born. Many people feel as though it would have been ideal to have never come into this existence. Some people are satisfied with their life, but still prefer they had never born and some may be glad they were born, but still see it as being irresponsible to push the gamble of life and life satisfaction onto others who lack the desire to be born in the first place. Suffice it to say, there is nothing wrong with not coming into existence and someone continuing their existence shouldn’t imply that they are glad they were born or that their life was some kind of gift. If you were never born you wouldn’t even know otherwise.

Does Stop Having Kids support eugenics or population control?

SHK does not engage in the promotion of any form of eugenics or controlling humans. SHK has nothing to do with controlling anyone’s life, body or genetics, nor would this movement support any legislation or policies that do control people. We want to encourage people to think critically and compassionately about life choices and align their actions with their thoughts—preferably unless their thoughts are discriminatory, oppressive, or harmful to the welfare of others. SHK will never rob anyone of their freedom to reproduce or their freedom to continue to make the world a worse off place. Personal empowerment is what SHK promotes, not any sort of authoritarianism.

Eugenicists are never simultaneously antinatalists because they are in favor of some humans procreating. Antinatalists in SHK are typically concerned with unnecessary suffering and environmental degradation, whereas eugenicists are purely concerned with expanding their versions of human desirability and supremacy. Eugenicists want people with “desirable traits” to continue to procreate, whereas antinatalists wish for nobody to procreate no matter what any of their personal traits are. Eugenicists support preventing people with “undesirable traits” from giving birth and keeping their children, whereas antinatalists, generally speaking, have no desire to control peoples bodies or their lives and just want people to choose to not procreate. As a side note, eugenics came from animal agriculture and expanded to humankind, so if you are someone who is genuinely not onboard with eugenics then it’s recommended that you boycott using, killing, and consuming other animals.

Stop Having Kids is a bad name.

Unfortunately we don’t have the ability to make a name that has the power to please every individual. There will always be people who don’t like the name and that’s perfectly okay. The name is impactful, truthful, and worth any pushback that comes our way. Some individuals who have complained about the name have offered alternative suggestions. While any types of suggestions are always welcome, these suggested names have been a mix of inconsistent with the messaging, cringeworthy, too soft, weak, forgettable, too long, boring, and easy to ignore. The name is official and here to stay. If anyone thinks we are going about this the wrong way then we encourage you to start up your own movement and show us how it should be done. We don’t want to have a name that’s going to be easy to ignore and forget; we want a name that’s bold, straightforward, intriguing, thought-provoking, enthralling, memorable, and worth sharing and talking about; this is what the name Stop Having Kids achieves.

Some have said that the name is telling people what to do and that it’s coercive. Stop Having Kids is simply a suggestion and a multifaceted message that encourages compassionate and common sense thinking and living, it’s not a rule or mandate. Nowhere is any kind of pressure, force, or coercion implied or enacted in the message or actions of Stop Having Kids. What are the chances that anyone has ever seen anything with SHK and felt like they were being blocked from living their life and doing whatever they want with their body? We are not responsible for the delusions of other people.

Stop Having Kids is a message of racism and ecofascism.

Those who engage in the subjects of antinatalism and childfree living unfortunately will inevitably be slandered with unsubstantiated accusations of being racist and/or ecofascist. It’s human nature to lie and make up stories about those whom one doesn’t like or those who have ideas that oppose, question, criticize, or contradict what they believe; this is just another example of that.

We don’t discriminate against anyone and we don’t try to make anyone do anything with their life or their body. We strive to be seen and heard most by people who live in North America and other wealthy countries; those who have the greatest capacity to harm other life, squander resources, and tarnish the planet with their consumption and behavior habits. The wealthiest countries don’t have the highest birth rates, but they generally possess more sanctioned rights and opportunity to not have children. Additionally, those in the wealthiest countries have more opportunity to help improve the lives of existing individuals who are in need. We would like concepts of pondering procreation, overpopulation acknowledgment, antinatalism, childfreedom, parenthood regret acceptance, and gender role nonconformity to spread all over the globe, but we will be focusing our outreach efforts in the more developed world where we already live. We don't target any areas that are predominantly Black, Latino, Indigenous, Asian, Muslim, etc. We are not against Stop Having Kids advocacy and outreach being done in these communities, but we believe that it should be done mainly by the people who are part of these communities.

The weakness of humans to accept and acknowledge information, as well as take any amount of accountability for their actions, is not our fault or responsibility. We have clearly demonstrated that we just want all humans (regardless of “race,” class, location, or anything else) to make more intelligent and informed choices; we haven’t demonstrated that we only want specific groups of humans to make these decisions and we certainly haven’t promoted or enacted out any forms of ecofascism. While we acknowledge that racism and ecofascism are very real, disgusting, brutal, traumatizing, and damaging aspects of human civilization that likely have no end in sight, we do not condone either of these and we don’t put out any information or use any approaches that promote racism or ecofascism. To refer to antinatalists and sustainable population advocates as “racist” and “ecofascist” simply because they want a world with less humans (without the means of control or targeting specific “races”) is truly disgraceful and insulting to victims of actual racism and ecofascism.

We’ve received overwhelming support from the Black communities where we’ve done Stop Having Kids outreach and we’ve received some of the most passionate support from Muslim women when we’ve done demonstrations in areas with a large Muslim population. Nearly every person who has called us “racist,” “ecofascist,” or a “nazi” during Stop Having Kids events has been an unhinged white person who hasn’t been able to explain how we are any of these things, nor have most stuck around to listen to our arguments against these baseless, and frankly embarrassing, claims.

The world will end if humans cease to exist.

Our message will not be the cause of humans ceasing to exist one day. The end of humans is the end of the human world, not the end of the world at large. The world was in perfectly fine working condition before humans ever came into existence and the world will continue on okay without us. Contrary to popular thought, we humans aren’t the center of the universe or the most important thing in the universe. We are one of millions of species inhabiting the planet, we are one of billions of species to ever inhabit the planet, and our relationship to the world at large is parasitic. The cruelest aspects of the world will cease to exist when humankind ceases to exist.

Having kids is a personal choice.

The decision to reproduce or not reproduce is a personal choice, but once a new life comes into the world because of one person or multiple peoples decision to produce a new human, it is no longer a personal choice any longer. When someone's choice impacts other people (such as forcing them into the world) it is no longer strictly personal. Having kids is far beyond a personal choice; now the burden and gamble of existence with guaranteed pain and suffering must be carried on by another individual. The new individual's existence is highly likely to have far-reaching negative impacts on other life and the natural world.

Humans aren’t the problem. The problem is capitalism, corporations, and the system.

Humans constructed, and continue to assume a role of complicity in the perpetuation of capitalism, crony businesses, unjust politics, and the overarching “system” we tend to vocally denounce. We only acknowledge our role as a victim of these entities while intentionally ignoring our personal accountability in the continued existence of these institutions and the harm they subsequently cause. These abstractions shift blame and responsibility permitting a sort of disassociation between our public indignation and our personal actions and culpability. It convinces us that these modes of operation and organizing happened outside of human will, when in reality they are extensions of and built from human beings, inspired by human nature, and will only get more powerful as more humans occupy and colonize the planet. 

Human population growth means more bodies to build up, participate in, and spread the ills of capitalism, corporate organizing, and the general “system”. Is there rationale in bringing new life into a world dominated by unshakable abstractions we abhor? Especially when there is the option to use resources on existing life and ecosystems negatively impacted or suffocated by “the system,” rather than on yet another human occupier who will add to these undesirable human-driven machines, including the destruction of life and nature—while also being victimized by it regularly throughout their lives.

Humans cause an abundance of problems for each other, the planet, and other sentient life that do not directly result from the structures of capitalism, corporations, and “the system”. Rape, for example, is life-shattering, commonplace, and widespread everywhere humans exist. However, humans exhibit a  tendency to shift blame for this as well. Rape is either commonly met with disbelief or victims are forced to carry the burden of blame, as if they could have done something to deserve rape. There are circumstances that can create a predisposition to abuse, such as experiencing abuse oneself, or working in an abusive environment like a slaughterhouse, but even still, we must seek to hold ourselves accountable for our actions regardless. We must strive to break these cycles of violence, inequity, and destruction by abstaining from having children, helping to improve already existing life and the world at large, ending the dissociation and compartmentalization between systems and humans, developing the strength and moral obligation to embrace responsibility for our actions, and acknowledging the unnecessary harm our actions cause, so that we may be fully aware of the gravity of our “personal choices.”

Humans need to keep having kids because one of them could fix the world.

Those who say this don’t begin to take into account the wide range of problems in the world, the scale of the problems, and the manifold barriers that exist to keep things the way they are. There are already over 8 billion of us on the planet as it is and we aren’t seeing things get better.  SHK isn’t going to convince the world to stop making babies. All of these potential future “cancer curers” and “climate healers” are being born each day and SHK would never try to or be able to stop this, so it’s silly to think we could be an impediment to progress in the world with what we are doing. We suggest you check out the My Kid Could Save The World page and hopefully put your wishful thinking that there’ll be a future human who will fix our flourishing issues to rest.

I don’t think people should be having a bunch of kids, but one kid is fine.

Humans are already severely overpopulated and the last thing the world needs is another human. Whatever our motivation is for having biological children, we can fulfill that in another way that doesn’t ensure more avoidable harm and suffering to a planet that’s already saturated with so much competition, inequity, horror, trauma, scarcity, and destruction. There’s never a guarantee for one human anyway—a pregnancy could lead to twins or potentially more than two kids. Even if someone has one kid, that one individual can create more kids when they’re older. There are already millions of existing kids worldwide in need of caring homes and getting their basic needs met—such as food, water, shelter, healthcare, education, attention, safety, and stability. Doesn’t the welfare and quality of life of these kids matter? There are no unselfish reasons to voluntarily have a child, which you can read about on our Why Humans Have Kids page. It is our position that having human children is unethical and irrational, despite the fact that birth is a natural process.

Stop Having Kids is negative.

We are trying to help minimize and prevent severe suffering and injustice, while trying to restore some semblance of equity and consideration for others in the world. Our message is peaceful, compassionate, mindful, empowering, love-based, and quite necessary in the modern world. How many other people are volunteering for such a noble cause? How could encouraging critical thinking and expanding human consciousness be viewed as negative? It's a regular occurrence at SHK events to see other people smile, light up, have their consciousness expanded, and to feel seen, heard, and validated. Same thing for people who discover SHK through the internet or by another medium.

We point out a lot of uncomfortable and negative aspects about the world that are rooted in being alive and giving birth, but is educating or reminding people about negative aspects of the world that they typically either don’t think about, don’t understand, deny, don’t know, or willfully ignore—a bad thing? Educating and empowering others, especially when it’s all truthful and in the best interest of sentient life, is a positive thing. What’s negative is acting out, ignoring, distorting, and flat out denying negative aspects of the world and procreation, while letting all these negative realities be perpetuated when we could be actively working to minimize or eliminate them instead.

If you feel that SHK is negative it’s probably because the messages are making you feel uncomfortable and you are associating your discomfort with negativity. You may be taking our messages as a personal attack. Feel your feelings, but just because you feel discomfort it doesn’t mean you need to consider that discomfort negative. Most people who make positive changes in their life often do so after first experiencing discomfort and then taking positive action. Antinatalism advocacy rooted in justice and anti-suffering is compassion and consideration for others in motion. Pronatalism and conditional-natalism exacerbates interpersonal and world issues, which SHK sees as a profound negative.

If people are going to encourage other people to adopt then why don’t they adopt?

SHK only encourages people who want to have someone they'll be caring for to adopt one or more of the millions (or billions) of already existing individuals in need of a home rather than needlessly bringing additional life into existence. We aren't encouraging EVERYONE to adopt, just those who want to make the long-term commitment of adequately caring for someone else and who can meet the requirements that adoption entails. We aren’t encouraging people who don't have the desire, interest, or ability to care for another life to adopt—we actually respect their decision to not care for anyone else if they don't want to, or to foster instead.

Anyone who does have the interest to care for another life should take the time and do the appropriate research to really evaluate if they think they have what it takes to care for another individual, whether we are talking about a human or another animal. If we evaluate our own circumstances, as well as our limits, and don't feel like we have all that's needed to responsibly care for another individual—then we should have enough self-respect and respect for others to not put someone else into that position where they are dependent on us. We also must acknowledge that people have their own set of hopes, dreams, ambitions, and goals (whether selfish or not) that can be thwarted if one were to have another life under their care. It's up to all of us if we'd like to sacrifice our future plans (and potentially ourselves) to care for others or not.

If people stopped having kids what kids would there be to adopt?

Not having a need for adoption would be a positive thing since the need for adoption arises from unfortunate circumstances, but the need for adoption is not realistically ever going to disappear. SHK advocates equally for helping humans and other animals in need, which includes adoptions of humans and other living beings. If there were no humans left to adopt it would only be because humans either stopped procreating (this would never happen) or because the species went extinct. Realistically, as long as humans stick around there will always be an excess of children who can't be cared for by their biological parents since all the various and multifaceted circumstances that lead to the need for adoption will likely still continue.

Why don’t you just kill yourselves? Isn’t that what you should do if you want to stay aligned with your message?

SHK has never stated that humans should kill themselves, so that wouldn’t be aligned with our message. Not wanting others to be born into this world and killing oneself once alive are two distinct issues. Therefore, it is not inconsistent to continue living once forced into existence.

We discourage producing new life, but we do not and have never advocated for existing people to kill themselves (or others) to reduce the human population and toll on the world. Is this how you would respond to your child or any other loved one if they felt a sense of community and validation within the SHK network? Would you suggest they take their life if they said they did not like their life, felt it was not right to be forced into existence, or stated they are staunchly opposed to having children, particularly their own? Is the empathy and goodness humans gloat about embodied in the phrase “Why don’t you just kill yourself, then?”

Read our About page, our Misconceptions page, and learn more about our actual message. If you carry the capacity to self-regulate, dedicate some time to explore the entirety of the site, and read with an open mind. Self-awareness at this point is critical, as this philosophy challenges deep-seated beliefs and institutions. As a consequence, there may be moments of extreme discomfort and sensations of resistance throughout one’s exploration. To gain the most from this site, try to distinguish between the information presented—that is, the actual words written—and normal, but reactive personal narratives that arise from defensiveness and a desire to preserve our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

Another common assumption is that those who promote the “Stop Having Kids” message must hate their life. Many do not hate their life, at least, not all the time. The goal is for people to embrace abstaining from bringing others into existence to needlessly suffer and die, and to embrace childfree living (if one so desires) and helping already existing humans, other animals, and places.

Many of the volunteers associated with SHK spend significant time giving back to the world and people without expectation, serving others purely out of the kindness of their hearts. Living a considerate and compassionate lifestyle devoted towards justice can bring so much more personal satisfaction and sense of fulfillment than a life rooted firmly and solely in self-interest. Another common value amongst SHK advocates is to live an authentic and individualistic life without abandoning oneself to please the expectations of others. We make it a priority to avoid letting the way others choose to think, or choose not to think, discourage us from radically accepting and living as ourselves.

Some of the most common regrets people have when they are dying is never living a life true to who they really were, not being charitable and of service to others, and of course, the regret that’s been lurking for quite a while: regret about becoming a parent. In more recent times, sensations of regret are a direct product of remorse over bringing someone into an increasingly inhospitable and uninhabitable world.

We promote living a life designed by the self, over a systematically designed and imposed culture and society, that ultimately leads to so much unhappiness and life dissatisfaction. We want to encourage critical thinking and we’d love for that to ultimately lead to people opting to help existing life where possible and practicable in lieu of procreating.

Does Stop Having Kids just want to kill all humans?

Absolutely not. All current humans possess moral status and rights that we don’t seek to tarnish or end. In fact, we are all about full-on personal empowerment and individuality, quite the opposite of killing. Some SHK volunteers feed people food and give them other resources, which helps to sustain their life. Most current humans have an interest in living their life and we support the inherent rights of current people to live out their life on their own terms. Rather than forcefully ending current lives, we seek a world in which people actually exercise consideration and decency for all life (humans and other animals, present and future) and opt out of imposing new life onto others who could have simply never come into an inhospitable and unnecessary existence. If more people had an antinatalist mindset then there would actually be less humans in the world killing other humans, but as we continue to mindlessly multiply our numbers we will see increasing levels of humans killing other humans (intentionally and unintentionally). When people opt for having children they unleash a new person into the world who may kill other humans or be killed by other humans. When antinatalists and childfree people make the decision to not reproduce, we don’t put that risk onto others.

Wouldn’t it be a bad thing if the human species ceased to exist?

No. Who would this possibly be bad for? When humanity was once not around (for most of the planet's history) was the planet and it's inhabitants suffering due to our absence. Was all of that "time" we weren't here a giant waste because we weren't present? Does SHK even have the power or potential to make humans go extinct? Absolutely not.

If one cares about preserving species, including our own, then the best thing would actually be for us to take more of a perspective of embracing extinction, especially since it's already inevitable and way pass being set in motion. Human activity is now the sole cause of the present sixth mass extinction and we are causing thousands of plant and animal species to go extinct every year. Humans wiping out other species is nothing new, but wiping out so many species and doing it so quickly is a more recent phenomenon that is perpetuated by by living in destructive ways and continuing the cycle of procreation. With the rate we are going at, it's going to become increasingly more challenging for humans to get their basic needs met and sustain themselves and their family.

Every new human adds to our chances of going extinct. Generally speaking, additional humans exacerbate all major issues we are currently causing and dealing with-especially if they are living in a more developed country. New humans will worsen the ill health of the planet and will exacerbate problems that threaten our long-term existence and push us into extinction. Therefore, to have a human child is to further push humanity into extinction—a less gentle and more ugly extinction at that.

Intelligent people should be having kids, but unintelligent people shouldn’t.

Ouch. We hate to break it to you, but intelligent parents can have unintelligent kids and unintelligent parents can have intelligent kids. Compassionate parents can have malicious or apathetic children and malicious or apathetic parents can have compassionate children. Life isn't as simple as many of us want to believe it is. What makes someone intelligent enough to have kids these days anyway? SHK views willful procreation as an inherently unintelligent choice no matter what the circumstances are of the parents or the world at large. Additionally, nobody is intelligent when it comes to everything and some people may be otherwise generally intelligent, but not have adequate parenting intelligence. If potential future parents are so intelligent and seek to spread their intelligence then why not spread their intelligence to some of the already existing 8 billion humans on the planet who can stand to learn more?

How does Stop Having Kids receive funding?

SHK is all volunteers and funded by a mix of self-funding from different SHK activists, as well as by the public through merch sales and online donations such as PayPal, Venmo, and Patreon. SHK has received very few large donations and these have gone mainly to advertising efforts such as our billboards. We have never received funding from any organizations. If you’d like to make a donation you can do so here.

Is Stop Having Kids all vegan?

SHK is vegan founded and part of our goals is to help veganism and plant-based eating continue to be embraced by a growing population. Nobody has to be vegan to be part of the SHK movement, but most people who have participated with SHK thus far do happen to be vegan. You can view the Vegantinatalism page and the vegan and plant-based diet resources here. Nonhuman animal discrimination, exploitation, and killing goes against the principles of prioritizing existing life that we encourage.

How can I get involved with Stop Having Kids?

Please check out the Get Active page and the Join The Movement page. If you'd like to get involved in any sort of way that's not mentioned on either of those pages then feel free to contact us. SHK is in need of translators, writers, proofreaders, and graphic designers.