Dear Stop Having Kids:

I want to tell why I am actually grateful I never had children. About 10 years ago I found out that I was on the "autistic spectrum" and have suffered from this condition all my life. I have had difficulties with school, work, and never really had any relationships. People with autism have an unemployment rate - higher than actors and ex-felons - of 85%!   

I would not want a child of mine to go through having a father who was often unemployed and cannot cope with the noise and chaos of children. I have saved the children I never had from my condition. It would not have been fair to them. Perhaps that is the kindest thing I have done for anyone I did not bring into existence.  

For decades, I have had pets (dogs, cats, bird), have landscaped and gardened and now care for my 97-year-old mother who is now on hospice care. I am also a writer for an environmental organization. When given the chance, people with autism care for existing life.

What I do want to bring up is the disturbing fact that autism advocates and what I read on message boards, people with autism are being encouraged to have children. One advocate on youtube brags that he is a father and has other people, including a woman who said pregnancy is a "wet and skanky experience" yet wants to get that way again. I find in a number of our support groups, there is a strong emphasis on dating.  

Meanwhile, when I was much younger I was being bullied, feeling suicidal, could not focus in school, had no friends (had difficulty with sports so they shunned me), could not find a job, did not know what I wanted to do for a career, and yet was being told by a therapist that "I need a girlfriend' and "why don't I date?"  The things we need help with: Job placement, social skills, a place and people we can talk to, recreation opportunities, and support in school and with jobs did not seem to exist and barely does today, even for kids.

What I would like to see is a group who could advocate for a childfree life for people with neurological conditions to have a fulfilling life.